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Life Hacks
IntroductionIn this essay I examine the most modern meaning of “hack” (essentially, short for “life hack”) and provide a half dozen useful life hacks that I’ve stumbled upon myself. First, some...
View ArticleFrom the Archives - Shakespeare Knockoff
Introduction It’s another slow news day here at albertnet, so here’s an old poem from my archives, with all-new footnotes and commentary. Enjoy please enjoy. Judgment of true minds – ca. 1992Let us not...
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Product Review - Inside Ride E-motion Rollers
IntroductionThis isn’t one of those consumer-oriented blogs dedicated to reviewing products—which is a shame in some ways, because if it were I’d probably reach a lot more people. (A post last year in...
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Keep Calm II - The Spawning
IntroductionSurely you’ve seen many variations on the old British “KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON” poster. And possibly you’ve even read “Keep Calm and Read These Quotations.” In that post I gave some...
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Voices In My Head
Introduction Is it okay to write a review of a review? Well, with blogs anything is possible! Besides, by “review” I mean the type like The New Yorker does, which isn’t fundamentally concerned with...
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From the Archives - Holiday Newsletter About HEAD LICE! GROSS!
IntroductionI have a tradition of mailing out a highly unconventional holiday newsletter. The original setup was to figure out the most humiliating thing I’d done all year and describe it in...
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Fiction - Game-Changing Dating Website!
IntroductionWhat follows is a work of fiction. That doesn’t, however, make it a short story. I had a reader complain about a fictional albertnet post that didn’t have the traditional story arc of...
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Ode on a Chain Lube
NOTE: This post is rated R for mature themes and mild sensuality.IntroductionI needed a blog topic. My younger daughter said, “Write a poem about your favorite chain lube.” My daughter is pretty...
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Race Report - 2017 Fort Ord CCCX XC MTB
IntroductionI belong to the East Bay Velo Club, a very generous outfit that hasn’t kicked me out even though my last race was in 2014. Actually, we’re a very laid back bunch who care mainly about...
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From the Archives - A Valentine Poem
IntroductionI wrote a Valentine’s Day poem back in 1989, and built a little essay around it. (The idea of footnotes didn’t occur to me at the time.) My essay was titled “The Safety Valentine,”...
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How to Survive a Phishing Attack
IntroductionThis post describes a super easy way to avoid falling prey to phishing and spear-phishing. While I’m at it I’ll explain about ransomware and botnets so you can sound impressive during...
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A Newbie’s Guide to Poison Oak and Poison Ivy
NOTE: This post is rated PG-13 for mild strong language and comprehensive grossness.IntroductionMaybe you’ve never had a rash from poison oak or poison ivy. I didn’t either, until recently when...
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Cough Drops & Mimetic Theory
NOTE: This post is rated PG-13 for mild strong language and an instance of shocking grossness.IntroductionDoes advertising work? Clearly. Does it work on me? I’d like to think it doesn’t (like most...
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From the Archives – The Crystal Ball
IntroductionOne of the unfortunate habits of the middle-aged is our tendency to bemoan the decay of our minds and bodies. It’s like picking a scab that, rather than healing over, grows all the time....
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Expensive Wristwatches
IntroductionThis post was inspired by a recent New Yorker article, “Time Out,” by one of my favorite current writers, the Russian émigré Gary Shteyngart. The article concerns Shteyngart’s growing...
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Can EPO Kill?
IntroductionOnce in a while I read a magazine article that gets my dander up. In such cases I may offer a rebuttal in these pages, not because my readership is vast, but because the offensive writer...
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A Tribute to Steve Tilford
IntroductionThis post is a tribute to the late cyclist and blogger Steve Tilford. I have a tale of his to share, which I wrote down shortly after hearing him tell it a decade ago. It’s the kind of...
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From the Archives - The Vermont Incident
IntroductionAs described here, my wife Erin and I did a 7,500-mile bike tour back in 1994. For the most part, we found our fellow Americans to be very friendly, and we rarely felt unsafe. We were...
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Death Valley - Frequently Asked Questions
IntroductionIt’s widely known that Death Valley, in California, is the third most popular vacation spot in the world (the first two being Disneyland and Paris, in that order). What’s not always...
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Fiction - How Lizzie Met Her Man
IntroductionWhat follows is a work of fiction. The characters were pulled out of thin air and have nothing in common with any human being who ever lived. Nothing that happens in this story ever...
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